Today’s Christmas Pop Rescue from a festive fate uncertain, is the 2001 fourth album 8 Days Of Christmas by American R&B group Destiny’s Child. Will this album fill you with joy, or should it be destined for the bin? Read on…

This 13 track CD opens with a cheap Casio keyboard teaser of Jingle Bells before letting into some emphatic groanings over a phat beat of title track 8 Days Of Christmas. The track is unmistakably Destiny’s Child – a rolling garage sound, flanked by lyrics about men, dirty jeans, and being sexy. At times the lyrics are unintelligible but they sound like they’re probably nice whatever is being said/sung. The harmonies of ‘uh ohohohohohoh‘ towards the end almost sounds a bit like a comedy turkey gobbling. Unsurprisingly, the track did not chart in the UK.

Next up is Winter Paradise, and this is a much nicer track. The lyrics talk of snow, family, and warmth by the fire. A subtle set of sleigh bells ring in the background of this softer, slower track. This allows Beyoncé, Michelle Williams, and Kelly Rowland to show off their vocals wonderfully – as individuals and in harmonies.

Then it’s A “DC” Christmas Medley – opening with an odd montage of what sounds like rapid-fire clips of Beyoncé being told she’s spilt some soup on her cardigan. Obviously this is a medley of covers, and that’s led by Santa Claus Is Coming To Town which has had all the bouncy jolliness sucked right out of it. Next is Frosty The Snowman and this one fits this plodding R&B megamix. Have A Holly Jolly Christmas follows this, and this one flows seamlessly in and works quite nicely. Then it’s Deck The Halls which fits quite well with the style of the track and gives the group yet more chances of lots of ‘la la la la la‘ lyrics. Here Comes Santa Claus gets shoehorned in near the end

Silent Night follows that, which the artwork claims is featuring Beyoncé Knowles which is odd, considering she’s also a member of Destiny’s Child. An acoustic guitar leads us through this soft vocal track, but to be honest it’s a bit weary and the vocals are all over the place whilst trying to sound emphatic it just sounds like a scrawly disorientating self-absorbed mess.

Next is Little Drummer Boy featuring Beyoncé’s sister Solange “I’ve played my drums for him” the lyrics go, in this terrible slaughter of this track. When the vocals are something slightly familiar, the vocal harmonies are downbeat but the harmonies are quite nice.

Some sort of harp leads us into Do You Hear What I Hear this time featuring… oh look, Destiny’s Child member Kelly Rowland, presumably singing alongside herself. Kelly makes a much softer vocal performance here, and it’s a welcome change as this version shows some sign of knowing the original. The track builds well alongside the narrative of the song.

White Christmas is next, and it starts off really well, showcasing DC’s ability to give us some great harmonies. A hard beat drops in, and the vocals initially take on a more shout-y stance before stepping backing into breathy high-pitched notes. This feels like it almost steps straight into next song…

…Platinum Bells, which gives us a rapid-fire new lyrics mixed in, and whilst it’s only 1m 27s, it feels too long. At least you get a direct “Merry Christmas from Destiny’s Child” said to you.

That’s followed by O’ Holy Night this time featuring… um… Destiny’s Child member Michelle Williams. Unfortunately whilst Michelle has gone to the effort to arrange this version, it’s a mess, and the vocals sound more like a school nativity over a sleepy backing tape. Holy shit.

Spread A Little Love On Christmas Day is next and this takes on the R&B beats but throws in some nice pseudo-Spanish guitar chords. Vocally, it’s very Destiny’s Child – more rapid-fire lyrics, but it could with little lyrical change, be a song for any time of the year as the chorus is the only place that it seems to refer to Christmas.

That leads on to This Christmas, and this takes on a new style that we’ve not heard before in this album – a soft shuffling electronic beat, a bass synth underlying the track, and it’s a nice mellow step through this great Donny Hathaway track. Its simplicity works really well, with DC picking up a few of the melodies of the original in their harmonies.

Opera Of The Bells follows this, produced and arranged by Beyoncé herself. The sleeve claims that this song is written by her too, but I don’t think this is correct as it’s Carol Of The Bells in disguise. It’s a nice showcase of vocal harmonies though, as they’re softly layered throughout without a single instrument. In that respect, it’s quite a nice sound, and a great showcase of the vocal range and power of the group, but at 4m 36s, it does feel quite long and slow.

The album closes with The Proud Family, from The Proud Family Disney series which is oddly billed as ‘Solange feat. Destiny’s Child‘. The track tugs a sample of earlier track 8 Days Of Christmas into the foray, but ultimately this track doesn’t really have a reason to be on this album otherwise.

Verdict

Over all, this album is an odd mixture of R&B Christmas covers meets Knowles nepotism and weird musical credits.

There are some highlights though – Winter Paradise, Do You Hear What I Hear, and This Christmas are all nicely done, but these gems sparkle amongst a dim mess.

Most of the covers here are somewhat slaughtered beyond recognition, usually due to ‘sensual groaning’, or obscure arrangements that take away the cheer or basic melodies of the originals.

Given the huge success of the group’s Survivor album in the May of 2001, releasing this Christmas collection in the October of the same year was simply a cash-in, but it didn’t pay off. The over-indulgent Destiny’s Child-isms throughout this album simply don’t work, the Beyoncé mic-grabs sound blatant, and they would have been better to stick to a pretty faithful set of cover versions that showcase their vocals rather than their style. 8 Days is just too much with this album.

• POP RESCUE 2023 REVIEW RATING: 3 / 5
• 2001 UK ALBUM CHART PEAK: Did not chart.
• POP RESCUE COST: £1.50 from a Discogs.com seller.