Review: “This Is Alphabeat” by Alphabeat (CD, 2008)

Rescued from a fate unknown in a charity store is today’s POP RESCUE – the 2008 album ‘This Is Alphabeat’ by Danish sextet Alphabeat. Will listening to this album be easy as ABC, or will it spell disaster? Read on…

I’m familiar with Alphabeat’s singles, as friends have played them numerous times, I even almost went to see them play live. So, I thought that I would be safe with an entire album.

I was wrong.

The album opens with ~~the Muppets~~ some repeated ‘aaah’ vocals, before launching into some teen-pop lyrics and vocals on track Fantastic 6. I don’t really know what they’re singing about, but suspect it’s themselves.

To their credit, second track Fascination is a fantastic track (complete with a brilliant, yet simple video below), but a whole album of their cheery, up-tempo, pop is just a bit nauseating, and musically they rarely stray from a formulae.

Up next is 10,000 Nights, which was their third single, and it is more rocky than the previous two tracks, and is also more catchy, and has some great vocal duelling between Stine and Anders SG.

This then runs into Boyfriend, which feels like a very early Dannii Minogue or Sophie Ellis-Bextor track playing 80s. It gave the group a #15 UK single.

Sadly we’re into dreariness with What Is Happening, which surprisingly got released as the final (sixth) single from the album, but unsurprisingly therefore only got to #110 on the UK singles chart.

This is followed by Go-Go, which was released as their fifth single, but only in their native Denmark. This track is quite a nice bouncy number.

The 90s sounding Touching Me Touching You is up next, with a promising start with some orchestral stabs, and a fast beat and bass line.

Track Rubber Boots feels like a filler, complete with some annoying vocals on it repeatedly advising how ‘you should wear rubber, always wear rubber, you should wear rubber, always wear rubber’. It’s quite dull, and sadly weighs in as the longest track on the album at 5mins 2 seconds. You’ll never get that back.

The tempo picks up a lot more for track Public Image, but vocally it’s dull. There’s a country music tang to the final track Nothing But My Baby, but again, it’s a dull, slow track that feels too long.

Alphabeat’s lead single ‘Fascination’

Where are Alphabeat now?

Who cares.

Verdict

I really didn’t like this album. I found it irritating and quiet formulaic, but on the plus side, it’s only 37 minutes long. It reminds me of the Scissor Sisters‘ Ta-Dah album, which I bought when it was first released, decided it was just nauseating, and sold it 2 days later after great disappointment and annoyance.

I think the problem with Alphabeat, is that they have two lead singers, who are competing more than they complement each other, backed by a band that likes to play fast.

I’ve tried selling this album 5 times on eBay at a very low price, and it won’t shift. It will be returning to the BHF store where I got it.